I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
