just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
