she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
40s are totally the cure
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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