yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize