does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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