So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
