we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
