I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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