How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
