Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
