Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize