he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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