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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...

  (971): View more from Oregon

  it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  ....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  "What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?

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