Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
