Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
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Do I have a choice?
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Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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