Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Two words: nipple clamps
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
