Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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