Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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