I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
where does the pee come out of this thing
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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