I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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