Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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