theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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