i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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