Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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