She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
