I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She's like a pop up book from hell.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
