when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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