the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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