Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Randomize
