Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
mondays should just be called national damage control day
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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