it's like her boobs came off with her bra
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
