Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
