Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
