why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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