Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
