Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize