I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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