First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
