Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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