so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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