I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
