You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
