who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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