Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
