I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
