there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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