lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
