Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
