This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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