I didn't shave. On purpose
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
