His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
