She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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