i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
