I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
