What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
