Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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