Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
