I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
