I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
