Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
