textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
