hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
