The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
