I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
