I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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