i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
